Since I was about 7 years old, I have always been chubby and fat. It wasn’t until last year in November when I weighed approximately 220 lbs. that I realised that I needed to get my health sorted out. It came to a low point where I was ordered an extra-large pizza, 10 deep fried chicken wings, garlic bread, 2 litres of Coca-cola. I at all this food in one meal...and that was just the main course! For dessert I would usually eat about 12 large chocolate chip cookies or an entire bag of one-bite brownies from Metro or a tub of Breyers double-churn ice cream or an entire McCain deep and delicious chocolate cake. Dessert 2 would consist of M&M’s, Reese’s Pieces or some sort of chocolate candy bar. MMMMMMMM!!! After gorging the largest meal I had ever consumed, my bulbous stomach ached and I was perspiring quite heavily as I told myself, “It didn’t work!” I thought I could fill a gaping wound in my soul with food, as if eating excessive amounts of great tasting food could make me happy. The heart burn was quite unbearable and I recall having a sharp pain in my abdomen. No more over eating! At this same time, I decided to stop consuming alcohol.
My first step to getting in shape was purchasing a spin bike and 4-5 days a week I would ride this thing for an hour or so, the first time puking after I did so. I got down to about 170lbs. between November 2009 and April of 2010, when I got a Gym membership. Unfortunately, in early July 2010 I relapsed and fell back to my old gluttonous habits. No working out, the drinking came back and I soon was over indulging in tasty treats. Sure I was biking to work every day, but the amount of food I was eating made me gain back a lot of the weight.
Today I am going to the Park near the University of Sydney to do my first day of Insanity. At about 8 AM I sneak out of my room, trying not wake my roommates…especially Kristy. Under a nice shady tree I turn on my laptop, turn it on, load a video titled “Fit Test” and press play. This black dude named Sean T starts talking about how you need to do this test every week. It starts with basic stretches, and some mild on the spot running, followed by jumping jacks. Shit, this is easy. Then it gets intense as I can’t even do some of the exercises properly and my heart is leaping out of my chest. I can’t even get through the exercises and this guy is yelling to speed up! My heart rate is almost uncountable and my legs burn as I hit the ground during the last exercise. As I turn off the DVD, proud that I managed to get through such a gruelling workout, I feel ill. I grab my water bottle and take a quick swig, only before realising that drinking water is only going to make this worse. Soon after I hurl up water and proceed to dry puke under the hot Australian sun. A worker for the city cleaning the park asks me if I’m already and I tell I just died and was reborn. His reply, “Good on ya Mate!”
On the fourth floor of my hostel I feel like pretty good, even though I was just sick and dry puked during my shower. I emailed 3D last night and told him that I would Skype him during “the Sunday”, where a group of us watch our favourite TV shows. He answers and he is chilling with Derek and I let him know what has been going on thus far on my journey. Soon after all these English douchebags in my hostel, that I nicknamed the “Naturals” (due to their good looks and skills at hooking up with chicks), start yelling, “YEEEEE…YEEEEE…YEEEEE”. At this point I go downstairs to the third floor computer area, only to disconnect from the internet as I flee away from the noises of these Naturals. After reconnecting, Derek is gone and now 3D is there with Naysh and Medurn. Since both Naysh and Medurn work for Cervelo, I tell them how hard it is riding on the only side of the road, to which they all laugh in unison. Also I tell them about how there are so many fixed gear bicycles in this city. There is even a corner where like 10 of these Asian ones hang out. After about a 15 minute conversation, they have to go and watch the Amazing Race, Survivor, the Office and maybe other new shows that I don’t know about. It is good to see their faces though and I feel less lonely now.
By 2 PM I am at the same store I was yesterday, buying the Nokia phone I need which will make finding an apartment a lot easier. In fact, after activating it I text a few numbers for apartments I found and one landlord will allow me to meet with him later today. I arrive at this massive apartment complex on Thomas Street right near the university. 1405 is the address the landlord texted me as a reply:
Me: “Hi. I saw your ad about the apartment in the classifieds on Gumtree today and I was wondering if it is still available. I am living and working here in Sydney for 3 months from Canada. I look forward to hearing from you
Landlord: “you massage from Canada or Australia?
Me: “Australia.”
Landlord “I see you 4pm now you come to see.”
This dude is definitely Asian and as I knock on the door I inhale and exhale deeply, hoping the apartment is fairly clean and quiet. Footsteps slowly creep towards the door and mumbles and groans can be heard coming from the other side of the door. The chain slide off and the bolts unlock just before the door creeps open. A small short old Chinese man appears on the other side gazing at me intently. He looks me up and down, and shakes his head. He then waves his finger in disgust and makes a face like his is eating a sour lemon. “Noooooo…”, he whispers, “…noooooo. Yu tu wite.” My eyes widen and I rack my brain to find the correct words before asking, “I am here to see the apartment?” “Noooooo.” He says as he slams the door behind him. Did that really just happen? I am WHITE. Aren’t my people the ones who enslaved, murdered, pillaged and raped other races and people of different ethnic backgrounds? I have never really experienced racism before and I am seriously shocked right now. Still standing in front of this door I am intently gazing at the number 1405. As my jaw hangs down from my mouth, I reach in my pocket and pull out a slip of paper that I wrote the address on and of course they match. Wow…shocking.
I am very sore as I lay in my bed thinking about the strange thing that has just happened to me earlier in the day. All my roommates are gone now too, no more Caroline, or Brian, or Stephanie…or Kristy. After cooking dinner I return to my read some more Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. The chapters I am reading are all about Quality. What is Quality and how do we know it when we see it? The author states how the protagonists other personality, Phaedrus, refused to define Quality, and “…even though Quality cannot be defined, you know what Quality is!” Pirsig gives the example of how Phaedrus, an English professor at the time, read to his class two examples of student composition. The first one was a “…rambling with interesting ideas that never built into anything…” (sort of like this blog). The second, “…a magnificent piece…”(sort of like this blog). When he asked the class which one they prefer, they all raised their hands for the second one, so they know what Quality is.
Pirsig talks about is what our world would be like if we subtracted Quality? Almost everything would be meaningless wouldn’t it? Fine arts would go firstly as our minds could no longer appreciate Beauty and sports would be pointless as the scores would now be meaningless. Food in the marketplace would also be meaningless since the taste wouldn’t matter anymore. Without Quality, the world can still function, but it would be very boring and hardly worth living. “Life would just be living without any values or purpose at all.” ANARCHY!!!
Personally, I think I know what Quality is when I see it. When I met Cindy I thought she was hot, in a romantic way, based on her looks alone and I thought that was Quality. Then as I got to know her better and saw her true personality, in a classical way, I was like she really is Quality. Look, if Cindy weren’t hot would I STILL like her? I have no clue. I might have not even approached her. And if she weren’t so much fun to be with, would we have still had a relationship together? Again, no clue.
Personally, I think I know what Quality is when I see it. When I met Cindy I thought she was hot, in a romantic way, based on her looks alone and I thought that was Quality. Then as I got to know her better and saw her true personality, in a classical way, I was like she really is Quality. Look, if Cindy weren’t hot would I STILL like her? I have no clue. I might have not even approached her. And if she weren’t so much fun to be with, would we have still had a relationship together? Again, no clue.
Our brains have evolved in a way to see the surface of things as quality and not examine the underlying principles. I consider myself very analytical and logical, but when my emotions get the better of me, all logic is thrown out the window. My animalistic instincts kick in and often I resort to irrational behavior (like eating out Aussie girls). This is not uncommon in human nature though and has been hard wired into our skull after generations and generations. When we see a nice car we think that’s a nice looking car, instead of examining why it is a Quality car. The mechanic must have been Quality: taking his Quality time, using Quality parts with Quality tools to assemble the Quality car. The mechanic gained the Quality knowledge from Quality training from other Quality people. Sure the paint job may be nice and shiny, the rims chromed out and the tinted windows appear to be stylish, but until you fully examine what is IN that car, you will not know if it is truly a QUALITY automobile. I am not saying I am CORRECT and this is just my opinion, but our species is very confused in terms of our idea of Quality.
None of my friends have ever met Cindy and I did this purposefully. They would see her, judge her and most likely think she is too good looking for me, which she is. They would rate her in a romantic way based on looks alone and this is a mistake that I tactlessly keep making myself. Some of my friends might also not like what she does for a living, although I don’t really think it’s all that bad. My friends though would miss out on how she is on the inside: Funny, kind, chill, confident, sweet, etc. Other guys would see me with her and be like he must be rich or drive a nice car and he is decent looking or has a huge dick. I am not rich or good looking and I don’t drive…and my cock is quite average, but Cindy sees past all that and likes me for me. I respect that so much. It is just so far outside of some peoples’ reality that a dude like me and a chick like her could be together.
After reading, I decided to compose an email to Cindy explaining my actions. Hopefully she will understand and forgive me…
After reading, I decided to compose an email to Cindy explaining my actions. Hopefully she will understand and forgive me…
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